U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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