He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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