he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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