I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
