We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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