i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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