Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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