Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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