Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.