Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions