I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.