I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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