Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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