i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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