Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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