How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
