i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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