We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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