Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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