why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
