I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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