oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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