Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize