Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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