Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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