Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!