You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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