Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
