If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize