I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
