I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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