pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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