Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize