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Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
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