I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
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"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.