i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...