I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night