After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
