If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter