Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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