my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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