I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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