So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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