My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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