I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.