The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.