I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"