This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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