I can text with my tongue
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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