Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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