I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize