WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
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You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.