I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
