my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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