i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
