After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize