Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just want to make out with him forever