Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic