brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...