I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor